Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Hit the Road Black Cloud....

For most of my life I have felt as if a big black cloud was hanging over my head. I'm generally an unlucky person, if something bad is going to happen, it usually happens to me. I've learned to laugh at this over the last couple of years, well until we lost Calvin anyway. I think because I am determined to find happiness and peace and to have a much better year than I did last year, the black cloud is trying extra hard to bring me down. The disastrous visit with my grandmother, catching a cold almost as soon as I got home and then last night...

Not feeling the greatest last night, I was pretty sure I would just spend my evening vegging out on the couch watching some tv. I had literally no energy, like how you get when you have a bad flu or cold. My cold isn't bad to that point yet but I could not bring myself to get anything accomplished in my day, in fact I hadn't even showered (ewww, yes, I know.) So in order to ease my guilt over being sick and not getting much done, I figured the least I could do was to put the clothes that were in the washing machine from the morning into the dryer. Having done that I was looking forward to quiet time with the girls, the half an hour before their bedtime where we begin to wind down and get ready for sleep. Georgia's bottle was heating up, Lorelei had changed into her pyjamas and we had turned the tv back on Treehouse for half an hour of cartoons before story time. As I sat there on the couch, I started to think I could smell something cooking. Having just heated up a pizza for supper and being sure I had turned the oven off, I convinced myself it was my imagination. Then the smell started to get stronger. Since Shane hadn't mentioned smelling anything, I was sure it was just me and I tried to ignore it. A minute later when my thoughts started to nag at me that something was wrong, I got up and went to the laundry room just to check. I was not at all prepared for what I opened the door to, a roomful of smoke. Yelling fire to Shane, I grabbed Lorelei's coat and boots from the front door and Georgia's blanket from her bedroom. Shane ran into the laundry room to figure out where the smoke was coming from and I grabbed the kids and ran outside. Lorelei was terrified. She was crying and worried that our house would burn down and I tried to soothe her as I waited to hear from Shane what was going on. It struck me as I stood outside in the cold night air with my children that they were the only things I had grabbed. I had always imagined that if my place burned, that there would be certain possessions that I would be sure to bring with me as we fled. I didn't even give my things a second thought. I had my children in my arms and in that moment it was all that mattered.

Back in the laundry room, Shane had turned the dryer off, unplugged it from the wall and pulled it out and away from the wall so that nothing else would catch fire. He pulled out the load of clothes that was inside and was inspecting the lint trap and vents for further evidence of flame. As the smoke began to clear, we determined it was alright to come back in, that our lives were not in danger and that the fire was out. Surprisingly, the whole thing while shocking in the moment, didn't bring me down. In fact, I laughed as I thought about what was in that load in the dryer, all my pants. What a shame it would be if I had to buy all new pants I had thought to myself. Immediately I got on the phone with Shane's mom, they had offered us their washer and dryer awhile ago because they were getting new ones. Telling us that we would have their washer and dryer by the weekend, I chose to look at the situation as a much needed break from laundry. I am still determined as ever to make this year so much better than our last year. Mentally I mocked the black cloud and shoo'd it away. I had what learned what was most important to me in those moments, that my children and husband are what matter most in my life and that feeling was so freeing. I hadn't given a second thought to my jewelery or the money I had sitting in my purse and I knew in those moments after that no matter what happens in my life, that as long as my family is safe and together that the other stuff doesn't really matter.

14 comments:

  1. Margaret youa re so right. As long as we have each other, everything else will fall into place. Hope your days get better.

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  2. You couldn't be more right. I'm so glad that things turned out to be okay and it was nothing serious. I too have thought about what I would take should something happen to our house. I know I would be devastated to loose anything of the boys though, since its all I have of them other then my memories. But really, just getting everyone out safe is the most important thing. Wishing you more peaceful days ahead. *hugs*

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  3. Wow, sorry you had to deal with all that. I would have been scared if I saw smoke in the house. You are right though, as long as you have your family everything is okay. That is all that matters. xo

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  4. So true. I am so glad that there wasn't a fire and that you are all safe!

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  5. Haha, black cloud, you hear that, nah-na-nah-na-nah-nah! :) So true, and yay for a peaceful heart in a stressful situation! PS - not showering for one day is NOT ewe! I could show you EWE! :) LOVE! xxoo

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  6. you are right, its so easy to get caught up in all of the other BS..but when it comes down to it.. its your family, the people and certainly not "things" that matter..

    Also, I just read your last post and I am so sorry your trip was not a success, and was so crappy.. but you TRIED, you did your part and you can never regret not trying to patch that relationship.. it was presented to her and she failed..that is not on you.. you are a great mommy, and babies are meant to be chubby :)

    ((HUGS))

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  7. Oh how terrifying!!! I am so glad you are okay!

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  8. I remember as a child being so scared when the house next door to us was on fire and they rushed us out. You think you can't live without somethings and then in that situation all that really matters are our loved ones. So relieved that you are all safe.

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  9. I'm so glad you and yours are all okay.

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  10. Margaret, we need to turn your luck around! I am so glad that it was just the dryer and nothing else! How is the new dryer working out? And you are right - as much as we think we need all of our 'things', life really does go on if something happens to them. When you boil it down, it's all about being together with the ones you love.

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  11. As long as our families are safe there is something to hold on to, you are right Margaret. I am sorry that things just drop into your lap this way...the fact that you grabbed your children first shows the beauty of being a parent. I am glad everything and everyone is ok.

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  12. wow margaret, you are so cool under pressure. I think I probably would have run out into the cold with no shoes on or something. That must have been terrifying. I am so glad you are all alright (sorry i am so late reading, VERY behind on my reader) sending lots of good thoughts your way, hope the black cloud has left you alone this week.
    Peace xx

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  13. Hey! I wrote Calvin's name in the snow today! My e mail is scubaloo4@yahoo.com E mail me and I'll reply with the pic! *hugs*

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  14. yikes! i am glad you are all okay and there wasn't much damage. i'm also glad that after the smoke cleared, you found that moment of clarity. those moments are so refreshing and uplifting.
    i've thought about what i'd do in this situation too since Leila died, and the only things i'd grab in a fire are her urn, blanket and her bag. i think i'd just die if i lost her ashes and her things, and it's interesting to think about how even though she is already gone, she is still my first priority.
    xo

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