In memory of my son, because every life leaves something beautiful behind...
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
We ordered Calvin's marker May 13. It's still not here and I am aggravated beyond belief. At the time we buried Calvin, it was the end of November and the city was no longer installing markers because it was winter. The funeral director advised Shane and I to take our time on deciding what to have it say so when we went in at the beginning of May, we were told it would take six to eight weeks. When it still wasn't installed at the beginning of August I called the funeral home to find out what was going on and was told that the company that makes the markers was behind schedule and that it was due to be shipped out August 17th. I have checked every second day since then and it is still not installed. I am heartbroken my boy has been without a grave marker for almost a year and his father can't bring himself to go to the cemetery until it is installed. By the time it gets here I am afraid it will be too late to bring fresh flowers or that it will be so cool that I won't comfortably be able to spend any time there with him. I'm angry and feel like this is yet one more injustice to my beautiful son. The longer it takes, the more upset I am getting and I am questioning why we have spent the kind of money we did on something that we have yet to see. If it is not installed by the end of the week, the funeral home is going to wish they had never had to deal with me after I get done. I doubt very much if it was one of their children lying in the ground without a grave marker that it would be taking this long. Please keep your fingers crossed for me that Calvin's marker is installed in the next few days so that I can spend time with him there while the sun still shines.
I have decided to write about my feelings following the death of my only son in November 2008. I'm learning that grief is a process with good days and bad, a lonely road with new beginnings and unavoidable endings. It is my hope that through writing I can come to peace with what has happened to us and our beautiful boy.