Have you ever been thrust into being in charge of something where you actually looked forward to the challenge? Have you ever been truly disappointed by how that something turned out? That was my weekend. I had been asked to be in charge of coordinating the next Parent's Buy, Sell, Swap indoor swap meet. I jumped at the chance because the last one was very successful and raised alot of money for the charity "The Ayden Project" at the door. Yes, I wanted to do this, and yes, I thought I could raise alot of money for BC Children's while I was at it. I posted an event on Facebook inviting table rentals, I booked a meeting room at the Days Inn, I messaged everyone on my friend's list, on the Parents Buy, Sell, Swap group and all those who showed interest in attending. I put an ad in the paper, one thing the last organizers had not done. I took it the extra step. My mother and sister in law came down to help me sell and to collect donations at the door. It was a dismal failure. I booked the swap meet the same weekend as Elvis Festival and the Peach City Beach Cruise, both of which are huge events. I didn't know they were happening this week until it was too late. So there I was, in a room full of women who had rented tables from me and spread out all of their baby and children's items to sell, and I wanted to cry. One by one, they approached me and made suggestions about how we could bring in more people, "Maybe you should call the radio station...", "Maybe you should run down to the park and put up posters for this before the Farmer's Market is closed for the day...."
Pretty soon, the suggestions became complaints, loud complaints at that...about what a waste of fucking time this was etc. and soon, my sellers started packing up their wares to leave, two hours early. I sat there apologizing profusely, trying not to cry as everyone started angrily packing up their stuff. I wished the earth would swallow me whole at that point. I felt like I had let everyone down by not doing my research well enough to ensure nothing was going on in the community that day. I felt like I had let Children's Hospital and Calvin down. I felt like I had imposed on my inlaw's time for nothing. I was embarassed, horribly so, and incredibly let down. I felt like a failure and it completely sucked. I need a hug....
Intention and Grace
1 month ago