I Want Him

Maybe it's reactionary grief, maybe it's insanity, maybe it's the hand of God working in mysterious ways....

My best friend lost one of her friends a couple of weeks ago. Lisa, my friend, has struggled over the years with addiction and it has broken my heart to see where her life has taken her at times. Thankfully, Lisa got arrested and was sentenced to a year on house arrest and during that time, she went to treatment. She's been clean ever since...Lisa's friend Payge also has struggled with addiction and had gone through treatment as well. Payge's life was looking up. She had planned to move into the same building as Lisa and was in the process of applying to have her older kids come back from foster care. Payge also had a beautiful one year old boy named Kaide, who she did have custody of and was by all descriptions, a wonderful and loving mother to him. A few weeks ago, Payge left her boy in the care of a girl she had gone to treatment with and left to go to bingo for the night. She never came back. The girl she had left the baby with called social services and he was brought into protective custody until his mother could be found. Payge had slipped and had been out using that night. She died from a heroin overdose. Payge's parents feel that they cannot possibly raise this little boy, so in the interim, he remains with a social service's appointed guardian. My friend Lisa, and Kaide's father are applying for joint custody. He also has struggled with addiction problems and is not in the position to take his son full time. I sent Lisa a letter last night, offering her to move into our house with Kaide while she shares joint custody. To me, it feels better knowing that the baby would have a secure, safe household to live in, with lots of love and two little girls to play with. My thinking is that if it doesn't work out with Kaide's father taking care of him, then he can stay here with us permanently. I want him. When I learned that this boy's mother had died of a drug overdose and that her family couldn't take him, every cell in my body screamed out for me to get him and bring him into our family. I'm afraid to get my hopes up, for me and for him. I'm afraid he'll end up being bounced around in foster care from one family to another or that his father will be incapable of caring for a baby full time. I know I could love that child. Please pray for Kaide, that the situation goes as God wants it to, whether he comes to live with us or stays in foster care. I just hope that little baby boy ends up in a home filled with security and love....I know I'll probably get comments about trying to replace Calvin, it's not like that for me. Nothing will take Calvin's place in my life or in our family. My heart just goes out to this little innocent baby who just lost his mother and any chance he might have had to be together with his siblings again. He deserves much more than he has had in his little life and I know that Shane and I could give him the family he needs right now. The custody hearing is on June 25. All we can do is wait now...