If Today Was Your Last Day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the prize is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you'll never live it twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are
So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothin' stand in your way
Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce of memories
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find that one you're dreamin' of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you finally fall in love
If today was your last day -Nickelback

This song has been speaking to my heart lately. The lyrics are so true, especially for me. I've been having conflicting feelings about some of my life choices, especially since losing Calvin. I guess maybe it's because I've encountered so many people who have chosen to do great things with their lives, really make a difference. I am beyond a feeling of admiration for Calvin's doctors, especially Dr. C. who I think about everytime I think of my son. Yesterday when I was having trouble sleeping, I went and sat out on the porch for awhile, alone in my thoughts. I was thinking about Calvin, about Dr. C. and how wonderful he was for my little boy and my thoughts started to drift to what a remarkable person he must be. I know nothing of Dr. C.'s life outside of the six days he spent with our son, but of that time and the things he did for Calvin and for Shane and I, I feel I know his heart. The fact that he sacrifices so much of his life to help critically ill children speaks volumes of his character. I know he sat for hours with Calvin, long past any requirement or sense of "obligation", and I know that hours of his spare time, his family time, were sacrificed to be with our son. I am extremely grateful. I am also humbled by his goodness, his chosen path and the dedication to his profession. I feel overwhelmingly grateful for anyone who chooses to "heal" others. My life in all it's tedium seems so insignificant in the scheme of things compared to the people who achieve greatness by helping others. When I listen to this song, I feel like I am wasting away my days, not living up to my potential and I wonder what I need to do to achieve a significance in life, what I need to do to make a difference. I'm sure if today was my last day, I would be full of regret for the things I haven't done, for all the wasted time and opportunities. There are so many people I need to settle things with, so many I need to express my gratitude and love for, it's always been easier to think that "I'll do it tomorrow". Of all people, having lost my son in six short days, you'd think I might be on this one a little bit better than I have been. Just in case today's my last day..."Thank you Dr. C, I love you more than you will ever know..."